Archive for the ‘Creator Statements’ Category

The Loon’s Top 5 Winter Drinks

December 5, 2013



ChicagoTribune:  Just after 1 a.m. on a recent chilly Friday, I’m seated at the center of a gorgeous parquet bar counter, perusing a collection of rare, decades-old spirits. And I’m sipping a cocktail through a jumbo, candy-striped straw stuck into a frosted milk bottle.

Such is the dichotomy of an evening spent at Logan Square’s Billy Sunday, the precise-yet-not-stuffy neighborhood bar from Matthias Merges. The bar feels equally at home serving an adult take on milk and cookies as it is exploring the subtle variations of Italy’s fernet producers of the last century.

NOPE! Sorry to Chicago’s Billy Sunday but they are WAY over thinking the winter adult beverage.  You don’t need gimmicks like frosted milk bottles and candy striped straws.  Sure maybe The Box Lunch is a great tasting drink, who’s to say?  But when the weather is frigid and the days are short these are the only 5 drinks you’ll need to hibernate with until spring.

5.  The Hot Toddy (Made With Crown Royal Only)

hot toddy


Gay name, delicious drink.  The Hot Toddy should be an absolute staple of winter drinking.  It’s the perfect after dinner drink or breakfast drink, it’s a versatile mother fucker.  Has all the great holiday spices like cinnamon and nutmeg and it’s hot so it’s perfect in cold weather.  Only draw back to the Toddy is can you really see yourself downing 10 of them during a night out?  Of course you can’t, you probably can’t even see yourself ordering one…but made at home watching a bowl game there are few things better.





Did Anyone Else See This Pic On CNN And Think Aliens Were Invading?

September 11, 2011

I can’t have been the only one.  After a sunday funday that is NOT COOL AT ALL for CNN to put that shit up there.  Definitely thought Independence Day was actually happening.  I’m already on edge cuz of 9-11 and not being able to find the terrorists planning to blow us up.  Last thing CNN needs to do is throw some sci-fi laser shit on their homepage….ugh…I’m gonna have to go watch United 93 to calm down…fuck you CNN

Who Called It??

August 27, 2011


An aspiring country singer looks to be joining the likes of Justin Bieber and Colbie Caillat – as one of a host of artists finding stardom thanks to the internet. 
   Fox 17 Entertainment Reporter stacy mccloud joins us with more on CJaye LeRose, a young lady that went from an unknown Texan to a youtube sensation 

What did I say about this girl?? Oh maybe I pointed out her videos WAY WAY WAY back in 2010. Like Here Or Here Or Maybe Here But I couldn’t have pointed out her talent FOUR times in 2010 right?…oh wait…maybe I did again Here yeah maybe the next time you all doubt my country music scouting ability you might wanna think again!!! American Idol has created 1 country star (not counting Pickler)…and if my count is correct I’ve created 1 also…so when do I get J-Lo money?? I’m assuming the check is in the mail.

P.S. I think it’s safe to say The Loon is a King/Queen maker…I mean for god’s sake do you think she would be in this random zero’s rap video without this site??
P.P.S 49 seconds…and nice golf shirts you hard ass…DON’T ROB ME!!! DON’T ROB ME!!!!

Also a random commenter said this on one of the earlier Cjaye videos I posted

I think it’s safe to say I had my way…Cjaye Lerose…The Loon…synonyms for greatness

The Best Laid Plans….

June 12, 2011

Honestly, does it get any better than this?? Stop thinking, because no it does not.  Watching “King” James disappear yet again in another big game is orgasmic. YEAH I SAID ORGASMIC!!! Is it weird Lebron failing gets me off?  Well, yeah maybe a little bit, but I bathe in the misery of others.  I’m a mean spirited spiteful mother fucker.  So tonight, my god did I burn through some tissue paper, my maid is gonna be fucking BUSY this week.  I’ve got tube socks full of lebron losing celebration all over this bitch.

Ok, now that I’m done with ALL that.  Lets get down to the real issue here.  Lebron is a fraud, if I hear another Jordan comparison I may fire bomb Bristol.  Here is the only stat that matters, Jordan in the finals = 6-0. Lebron in the finals = 0-2.  And so we never forget what LBJ promised, play that SHIT!!!

PS: Pat Riley at the :20 second mark says all you need to know, you can practically read his mind as he’s thinking, “hey Lebron, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!”

I Want That Fox…Wait For It

May 10, 2011

I lost it when the camera pans left to the Millennium Falcon and that SICK ASS Fox.  That Fox might be the coolest thing to ever video/photo bomb anything.  Just straight up stole the show while these two outcasts from Deliverance were getting down on the banjo and fiddle.  I want that Fox, and not just any ol taxidermy Fox, I want THAT taxidermy Fox from these kid’s room.  I’ll pay 10 dollars for it I want it so badly.  I need to put it right on my desk next to my editing station, because I promise you I can never be as creative as I know I can be without that thing fake growling at me.  Just cutting video like you read about making the next Furry Vengeance or Alvin and the Chipmunks:The Squeakquel with that kind of dead animal inspiration.

P.S. How big of a zero does the older brother feel like getting upstaged by his younger bros??  Just left with a pity 5 seconds at the end and not happy at all about it.

Now I Can Comment!!!!

May 6, 2011

After last year forgive me if I was a little reluctant to talk about the Bruins.  However, after avenging our inexcusable 3-0 collapse by sweeping the same assholes who put us in the history books, I think I can be a little cocky.  Now, don’t get me wrong…I am scared shitless of the Lightning.  Yeah we already beat the Yankees of the NHL by sneaking by Montreal in 7, then we exercised some demons by sweeping the Flyers…but who the fuck are the Lightning?? This is a brand spanking new opponent…this series could go anywhere…yeah I like that we have a 3-1 regular season lead on these guys but Montreal also had a 4-2 season lead on us…this is literally a toss-up.  But I like Tim Thomas, our PP started working these last two games, we have a “blew a 3-0 lead last season” chip on our shoulder…I like our chances…as long as we keep St. Louis and Vinny Lecavalier off the scoresheet we are looking good…now SHOW ME SOME BOBBY ORR HIGHLIGHTS!!!!

These Will Have To Do

May 4, 2011

So we’re not gonna get the bin Laden death pics, so I figured we’d take a look at the other assholes the SEALs capped at his compound.  I’m honestly appalled by these pictures…somebody spent all day cleaning that floor and these dickhead terrorists bloody it all up…keep your blood in your bodies.  Just the kind of rude behavior you’d expect from friends of bin Laden, no class.

America Won…Oops!!!

May 1, 2011

OK…I didn’t vote for the man…I don’t like his domestic policies…but I always said…if Obama gets Osama he’s my man…and Obama got Osama…so if you are an American you have to give him props…we got that son of a bitch!!!!! killed his ass like you dream about!!!!

Now cue that mother fucking music!!!!

51% Of People Are Full Of Shit

March 16, 2011

Yeah…it’s time for the weekly do-gooder nonsense poll.  Are you fucking kidding me?? You couldn’t find 51% of people that would return a wallet they found in the street, you really think these assholes would risk their lives for strangers?? Not a chance.  I really do love CNN polls, it’s the easiest way for assholes to feel good about themselves.

Don’t Fuck With Troy

March 10, 2011


Donald Glover aka Childish Gambino is the new hot shit.  Siiiiick new video for his single Freaks and Geeks…kid stars on Community and drops bombs like this…learn the name, remember the name…just some advice.