Lets Attempt To Talk About The Current State Of LA Sports aka The Loon’s Random Sports Allegiances

LA-logos

 

This is going to my biggest challenge if I end up writing for Barstool LA.  I have only a passing knowledge of their sports teams.  Besides the Lakers and Dodgers I couldn’t carry on a legit conversation about sports in Los Angeles to save my life.  That being said, I couldn’t dominate a conversation about any cities sports teams from top to bottom.  Not because I’m not a sports fan, I could debate my teams all day…problem is my teams are all from different cities.  Let me explain…

I was born in the Phoenix suburb of Mesa in 1983.

mesa

 

At that time there were only two professional sports franchises in Arizona.  The then Phoenix Cardinals (who were god awful) and the Phoenix Suns (who were THE franchise in Arizona).  My mom worked for a company that had a box at The Mad House on McDowell where the Suns played and we got to go to a ton of games.  Place was always loud and energetic and the team was usually pretty good and competitive…so it’s not hard to imagine how my 8 year old self got hooked on Suns basketball.   In contrast we have the Cardinals, the team that couldn’t get the city to build them their own stadium so they had to use ASU’s Sun Devil Stadium for their home games like fucking amateurs.  I got to go to a bunch of their games too…here’s kind of how that looked in the late 80s…

sundevil500

 

Can you feel the excitement and anticipation??  So needless to say I wasn’t much of a football fan, that was until, I got to see this guy play…

marino

 

The date was November 4th, 1990.  The Cardinals were in Miami to play the Dolphins.  Like an abused spouse my father turns on the tv in our living room to enjoy another attempt by the Cardinals to impersonate a football team.  Well 3 hours and a 122.9 passer rating later I was a Dan Marino and by the transitive property a Miami Dolphins fan.  So that was all she wrote as far as basketball and football go.  Dolphins and Suns…little did I know at the time I was dooming myself to a lifetime of misery, close calls, and no championships…but hey…I would make up for that with my next two teams.

Now I don’t really want to keep rambling…but in 1992 my family moved from Arizona to New Jersey…there I became a Yankees fan because all my new friends were…and a Boston Bruins fan because I kicked my friends ass with the Bruins in NHL 94 (maybe the greatest sports game ever made).  So between the Yanks and B’s I’ve witnessed 6 championships…not bad.

But back to Los Angeles, I can write about the Lakers because they are the Suns’ biggest rival and I hate them.  I can write about the Dodgers because it’s baseball and baseball is the easiest sport in the world to fake knowledge of.  However, my Clippers analysis would be along the lines of “wow Griffin is good he dunk hard, why Clippers no better?”  With the Kings, eh, I hear they have a pretty sick rookie named Tyler Toffoli and they have a pretty nasty 1-2 punch in goal with Quick and Scrivens, with Scrivens dominating during Quick’s stint on the DL…so I could easily see myself becoming a much more knowledgable Kings writer than Clippers writer.  But yeah, if I get the gig I could join the ranks of such titans of sports journalism as Dan Shaugnessy and Bill Simmons, who also have no idea what they’re writing about.

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