Hello Milton My Old Friend


SunTimes   Milton Bradley, maybe you vaguely remember him bringing his unique skill set to the North Side Nine last season, is playing his part to perfection once again.  Just a few weeks ago, the explosive former Cubs outfielder equated himself with the likes of Kanye West and Ron Artest as baseball’s bad boy: “If I was a musician, I’d be Kanye West. If I was in the NBA, I’d be Ron Artest. In baseball, they’ve got Milton Bradley. I’m that guy. You need people like me, so you can point your finger and go, ‘There goes the bad guy.”  OK, Milton. What finger were you talking about pointing again?

Well look who’s fucking back!  It’s been a while Milton but you’re back in my crosshairs.  For those who don’t remember, I blogged a while back about Milton Bradley shitting on the Cubs and sending his mother out to accuse the city of Chicago of being racist to his three-year old.  Well I was obviously right about the accusations being complete horse shit and now Milton is in the news again…this time flipping off Ranger fans.  And you know what??  I’m 100% on Milton’s side on this one.  I don’t blame the guy one bit for saying “fuck you” to a bunch of drunk idiots, and he’s totally right by embracing this villain role.  He is the fucking bad guy and he needs to play the angle up a bit.  He should make this his thing, just travel around the country catching fly balls and flipping off 12 year olds who are calling him a faggot from the cheap seats.  You know every man who has ever played the outfield in an opposing team’s ballpark have wanted to jump into the crowd and do their best Stephen Jackson impression, but they don’t because they have that self-control thing.  Not Milton, he doesn’t give a shit.  Don’t be surprised if sometime this season he loses it and after catching a fly ball and hearing someone say they fucked his wife for the 50th time he turns around and fires a 90 mph heater right into the grill of some 6-year-old girl in a pink Red Sox hat and then spits in her direction not giving a rats ass he completely missed the guy he was aiming for.  Then he’ll grab his nuts and walk off the field and straight into custody…and I’ll be standing in my living room giving him a standing ovation…because…you know…fuck the Red Sox.

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