It Might Have Finally Happened

WonderWall  Everyone take cover and pray to the deity of your choice, because the day we’ve long feared is finally here: Rumors are a-flying that a Lindsay Lohan sex tape may be set loose upon the world.  Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  Here are the dubious details: The London Daily Mirror claims the Hindenburg-lipped starlet is “bracing herself” for the possible leak of a “pretty seedy” 47-second video that supposedly shows her enjoying an “adult activity” with an unidentified guy.

Well shit…this was bound to happen.  I’m a little surprised it took this long but oh well, we’re gonna see Lohan getting plowed by some random dude and I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that neither of them will be sober.  I’ve definitely been looking forward to this tape for a while now but somehow this news isn’t really doing it for me.  I think the anticipation of a Lohan sex tape was at its height about 2 years ago but since then she’s just not the prime-time player she used to be.  I feel like I might be depressed if I ever see this thing, kind of like watching an NFL team trying to pull off a miraculous series of laterals to score during the last seconds of a game, you know they aren’t going to win and it’s sad to see how hard they’re trying.  Same with Lohan, you know she’s a train wreck and not even remotely relevant anymore but look at how much effort she’s putting into these 47 seconds…just sad.

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