No Coke? Yeah Ok…


TMZ  Billy Mays’ widow says she never bought into the medical reports showing cocaine contributed to the legendary pitchman’s death — and now she says a brand new investigation backs up her claim.  Deborah Mays just released a statement claiming the family commissioned a 2nd review by an independent medical examiner, Dr. William L. Manion, who concluded, chronic cocaine use was not demonstrated by the autopsy findings of Mr. William Mays.


Ok it’s too early in the morning for bullshit.  I can’t handle it.  I haven’t had my coffee yet and I surf on over to TMZ and find this story staring me right in the face.  This is the third bogus, bought and paid for, coroner’s report I’ve seen for a celebrity since I started The Loon.  I feel like this one is the most aggravating though because they try and slip in a single world to deceive the reader, but it’s not going to get by me, groggy as I am.  No chronic cocaine use huh?  That’s like saying there’s no evidence I drink a bottle of whiskey a day, but I still drink and Bill Mays still did blow.  Just because he wasn’t brushing his teeth with the stuff doesn’t mean he didn’t do a little too much the day he died and blew out his heart.  I understand the families’ desire to try and untarnish his memory but at the same time you gotta come with a better cover story like that, wordplay and trickery doesn’t make it past The Loon bullshit sensors, and my sensors are state of the art.


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